have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
