I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
