So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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