I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
