we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
