I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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