***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
