What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize