I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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