Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
