I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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