There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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