I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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