I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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