I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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