I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
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