You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
