I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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