her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
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The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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