If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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