she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
