We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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