My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
