So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
