just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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