I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
