The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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