dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
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