guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Randomize
