there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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