did you get engaged???
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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