I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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