i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
