the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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