slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
