***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
