Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
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We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
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This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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