New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
