She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
