is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
