I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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