Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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