Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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