I cockslap morals
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
