yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
