my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize