No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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