No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
