i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
