ugly people sure do ruin things
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
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He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
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Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
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