I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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