My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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