i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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