Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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