In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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