I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
