I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
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Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Come back. Shots need mouths.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
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You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize